How to Join
Membership in The Red Chair is by invitation. You must be at least 19 years old, and have met with someone in leadership at least twice in person to join. This means that we need to meet you at least twice and get to know you a bit before we invite you to participate in our various events. The usual way to do this is by attending a few munches, which are normally held every other Wednesday in Birmingham. You can see dates and locations for these on our calendar.
Sometimes we also do individual meetings if our schedules allow and your work or other obligations make it impossible to attend munches. But we really do need to meet you at least twice. This screening process helps us protect the confidentiality of our members, while ensuring that prospective members understand the nature of TRC.
Finally, we have reciprocal agreements with similar groups in the region, and members of those are allowed to join TRC with no additional requirements. In addition, we follow a “common sense” policy regarding those who are well known by individuals who are well established in trusted in our community.
For other situations, fill out the contact form, and we’ll let you know what policies apply.
General Event Etiquette
- Always remain respectful of others and their property.
- If you see something you are curious about, our members would be happy to show you their toys or equipment.
At a Munch
At a Play Party
Okay, so you’ve met the requirements, been to a few munches, or been talked into it by your best friend. You're about to attend your first BDSM play party. Congratulations! Chances are you have a few ideas about what to expect.
Every club is different, but every club is made up of regular, everyday people. We aren't billionaires, horror movie predators, supermodels, escaped mental patients, or gullible dolls waiting to be exploited. We are mothers & fathers, soccer moms & stay-at-home dads, executives & college students, mechanics & truck drivers. We just happen to be into BDSM. Everyone has their own relationships, kinks, and fantasies. Lots of them are probably compatible with yours!
Here are a few tips on being respectful and polite, so you'll be more likely to have fun in this awesome place.
The goal is not to limit your activities, experiences or fun, but to encourage safe experiences in a controllable atmosphere for everyone’s protection.
Your Safety Comes First!
Before Agreeing to Meet Someone
Once You Agree to Meet
Before Playing With Someone for the First Time
Actually Playing With Someone for the First Time
- IF THEY TELL YOU DON'T NEED SAFE WORDS, SAFE CALLS or LIMITS, then RUN! They have something more up their sleeve. BIG RED FLAG!
- WATCH FOR LACK OF RESPECT, CARE OR CONCERN for your well being! If they DO NOT RESPECT your Health, Safety Or Limits in any way, if they try to PRESSURE, RUSH, or BULLY you Verbally, Mentally Or Physically, if they GET ANGRY or Annoyed at your cautiousness or questions... Beware!
- If they are UNWILLING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS or give suspicious answers or excuses. THESE ARE BIG RED FLAGS!
- If a male players REFUSE TO GIVE their REAL INFO, SHOW their DRIVER’S LICENSE or REFUSE to COME TO YOUR TERRITORY FIRST.
- If they HAVE NO REFERENCES.
- If they EXPRESS ANGER, FEAR, RESENTMENT or any other negative emotions ABOUT YOU TALKING TO OTHERS, then you have warning that something is fishy.
- If they seem to Have A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE on the subject. It may mean this is just A WAY OF GETTING YOU ALONE OR GETTING YOU INTO THEIR BED. Also, they MAY ACCIDENTALLY HURT YOU because they don’t know what they are doing!
- If they INSIST ON SEX. 'Do they ever play non-sexually?'
- If there's a PICTURE OF THEIR GENITALS, BUT NOT THEIR FACE in their profile
If your potential partner SAYS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING, RUN!
- I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK TO ANYONE ELSE ABOUT ME
- YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ASK OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT ME
- IF I find out YOU TALKED TO OTHERS ABOUT ME, I'LL NEVER have anything to do WITH YOU AGAIN
- YOU SHOULD ONLY TRUST WHAT I TELL YOU & NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE
- YES, WHAT THEY TOLD YOU WAS TRUE, BUT I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW
- EVERYTHING PEOPLE HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT ME IS A LIE.